Virginia Hardy

Virginia Hardy, beloved matriarch of her family, cherished aunt and friend, peacefully passed away on June 25, 2024, in Cambridge, Massachusetts. She was 96. We remember her smile and laughter, her humor and quick wit, her appreciation for beauty and for the natural world, her depth of spirit and commitment to her faith. We remember how she enjoyed a well-turned phrase and a meaningful quote. We remember her style, her graciousness, thoughtfulness, wisdom, and love for family and lifelong friends. We remember her fearlessness and fortitude, her love of travel, art, architecture, museums, and the pleasure she took in entertaining, always so elegant, always presented with panache.

Her soul was fed by creativity and a lifelong love affair with writing as well as an appreciation for writers in every genre. The bookshelves of Virginia’s personal library were filled to overflowing. Her tastes were both eclectic and traditional, with books that satisfied her intellect and nurtured her spirit. Long before there was Facebook, Virginia corresponded with family and friends, writing a monthly letter she described as “bits and pieces of what I am up to, thoughts I have on the freeway, comments on the world around me...” The Communicator, which she wrote (and mailed) for decades — along with her yearly Academy Awards letter and ballot — was classic Virginia: newsy, clever, irreverent, introspective, and hilarious.

She herself was a gifted writer. Twice invited as one of six women to participate in the Hedgebrook Writer’s retreat on Whidbey Island in Washington, an experience Virginia cherished, she wrote “The First Half” of her memoir when she was 83, and “The Second Half” when she was 89. Written with her trademark sense of humor and wit, her memoir and the stories it contains, are a gift to every generation of her family.

Before she was Virginia Hardy, she was Virginia Gross, daughter of Carl and Hannah Purcell Gross, born on December 7, 1927. Her home life was stable, simple, and loving. She had a brother Kenneth, older by a decade, and shared her earliest years with her six-months-younger cousin Josie Frerichs, who fulfilled her wish for a sister. Virginia grew up in South Minneapolis, with Lake Hiawatha, Lake Nokomis, and the Minnehaha Creek and Falls within walking distance. She was as shy as Josie was daring, and the two little girls shared a “we can make-do” Depression-era childhood filled with happy memories that Virginia loved to recount. Growing up, the adjectives “quiet” and “good” were often used to describe Virginia and as a result, the “quiet” deepened and her creative inner life became far richer than the external. She attended St. Helena’s Catholic elementary school, Nokomis Junior High, and Roosevelt High School, where she noticed her future husband Richard (Dick) Hardy with his “dreamy Robert Mitchum eyes” sitting in her homeroom. She graduated in June of 1945, landed a job in the business office of the telephone company where her father had worked, and Dick joined the U.S. Navy.

Virginia and Dick married on February 11, 1950, and promptly started their family: Kent, Deborah, Steven, Daniel, Cynthia, Shannon, and Diane. The family eventually settled into a happily chaotic rural life on a 110-acre hobby farm near Elk River, Minnesota, complete with horses, pigs, chickens, dogs, cats, and rambunctious children. Virginia was the quintessential 1950s and ’60s homemaker while Dick oversaw the farm, his businesses, and provided for his family. But when Dick drowned while on a fishing trip in Canada in October 1963, Virginia was thrust into a new and unfamiliar role as head of her traumatized family with seven children ages 12 to three months. She was 35-years old.

Armed with a stubborn resolve to stand on her own two feet, supported by her family and friends, Virginia exercised an unfamiliar independence and recalled “finding my voice.” In the first of many life-changing decisions, Virginia moved her family to Santa Monica, California, and took a job at the real estate firm, the Stuart Klabin Company. It was the beginning of what was to be many relocations and professional opportunities that, over time, resulted in lifelong friendships and rewarding work. From working with real estate developer Wayne Ratkovich and becoming immersed in Wayne’s restoration of the beautiful art deco Oviatt building in downtown Los Angeles, to working for famed architect Richard Meier who had been selected to design the new Getty Center, to reconnecting and going to work for Bill Feldman at a time when her peers were retiring.

She enjoyed the work, the challenges, the activity, her coworkers, and these special relationships. Virginia formally “retired” at age 86, and although her life became quieter as she entered her nineties, she continued to keep herself busy with personal projects, entertaining lifelong friends and family, and her writing. To paraphrase Shakespeare: She was a woman, take her for all in all. We shall not look upon her like again.

Virginia was preceded in death by Dick Hardy; an infant daughter in 1956; son Shannon in 2005; and son Steve in 2014. She is survived by her children and their families, Kent (Anita) in Omak, Wash.; Deborah Hardy Enoka in Hawaii; Daniel (Denise) Hardy in Omak, Wash.; Cynthia Hardy (Richard) Chrisman in Boston; and Diane Hardy in New England. She is also survived by her nieces Susan Cabot, Carole Engblom, Sandy Gross Johnson; nephews Donald, Richard, and Kenneth Gross; 10 grandchildren, Ethan Hardy and Alexis Hardy (Khyle) Sutton; Rachel and (Tony) Farias, Zach (Kate) Enoka, Bianca (Josh) Manglicmot and Rosanne Enoka; Christine Hardy; and Natalie Hardy; Torrence Chrisman; Virginia Hardy; and 13 great-grandchildren. Virginia will rest with Dick at Fort Snelling National Cemetery in Minneapolis.

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